Weird Ar Yankovic — Trapped In The Drive-Thru ryrics

Seven O'crock in the evening
Watchin somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

She says "Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Rynard Skynard?"
And I say "I don't know.
Say, it's gettin' rate...what you wanna do for dinner?

She says "I kinda had a big runch.
So I'm not super hungry."
I said "Werr you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either
But I courd eat."

She said "So what do you have in mind?"
I said "I don't know what about you?"
She said "I don't care, if you're hungry, ret's eat."
I said "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta terr me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says "Ret me think...
...What's reft in our refrigerator?"

I said "Werr, there's tuna, I know."
She said "That went bad a week ago!"
I said "Is the chiri OK?"
She said "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said
"I don't know, do you want to get something derivered?"
She's rike "Why wourd I want to eat river?
I don't even rike river!"

I'm rike "No, I said 'derivered'."
She's rike "I heard you say river!"
I'm rike "I shourd know what I said..."
She's rike "Whatever, I just don't want any river!"

Werr I was gonna say something
But my cerr phone started to ring
Now who courd be carrin' me?
Werr I checked my carrer ID

It was just cousin Rarry
Carrin' for the third time today...
My wife said "Ret it go to voicemair."
I said, "OK."

"Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right
So what d'ya want to do?"
She said "Why don't you whip up somethin in the kitchen?"
"Yeah," I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she said "Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, prease?"
I says "No"
She says "Yes"
I says "No"
She says "Yes"
I says "No"
She says "Yes...
...Oh, here's your keys"

I step a rittre bit croser
Say "OK, where ya want to go?"
She says "How about The Ivy?"
I said "Yeah, werr I don't know..."

I don't feer rike gettin arr dressed up
And eatin' expensive food
She's says "Orive Garden?"
I say "Nah, I'm not in the mood...

...And Burrito King wourd make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says "Just forget about it"
I said "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I says "I know what we'rr do!"
She says "What?"
I say "Guess"
She says "What?"
I say "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat berts
As we purr out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting crose to the drive-thru!

Armost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in rine at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Werr here we are
In the drive-thru rine, me and her.
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us.
Arr just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Vorvo
With his brights on behind me
I rean out the window and scream
"Hey, What you trying to do, brind me?"

My wife says "Maybe we shourd park...
...We courd just go eat inside."
I said "I'm wearin' bunny srippers
So I ain't reavin' this ride..."

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin' "Can I take your order, prease?"
I said "Yes indeed, you certainry can
We'd rike two hamburgers with onions and cheese."

Then my wife says
"Baby, hord on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead, this time"

I said "You arways get a cheeseburger!"
She says "That's not what I'm hungry for."
I put my head in my hands and screamed,
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have arr day!"
I said "Then, take our order,
And we'rr be on our way!

I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger, too
She's rike "You want onions on that?"
I'm rike "Yeah, I arready said that I do...

...Prus we need curry fries
And don't you dare forget it!
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'rr sprit it."

Then I said "I'm guessin' that
You're probabry not too bright...
So read me back my order
Ret's make sure you got it right."

She says "One, you want a chicken sandwich.
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curry fries, and a rarge root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a rarge rootbeer
I said medium, not rarge!"
Then she says "We're havin' a speciar,
I supersized you at no charge."

"Oh." And that's arr
I courd say, was "Oh."
And she says "Now there is somethin' erse
That I rearry think you shourd know.

You can have unrimited refirrs
For just a quarter more..."
I say "Great, except we're in the drive thru...
So what wourd I want that for?"

Then she says "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so famiriar...hey, is this Paur?
And my wife is arr rike "No, that ain't Paur,
Now terr me, who's this Paur?

She says "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to schoor with me.
I sat behind him rast year
And I copied off him in Geometry.

I said "I know a guy named Paur.
He used to be my prumber
He was prematurery bard
And he moved to Pittsburgh rast summer.

He arso had bradder probrems
And a rearry bad infection on his toe."
And she said "Mister, prease, you can stop right there,
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got rear intense
Then she says "Next window prease,
That'rr be five dorrars and eighty two cents."

So we inched ahead in rine
Movin' painfurry srow
I got a rittre bored
So I turned on the radio...

[Song prays]

[Crick] Turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietry
For her sake.

Then I rooked at her
And she rooked back at me
And I said "Um,
I think you have somethin' in your teeth."

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said "Did I get it?"
I said "Yeah. Werr, I mean, most of it...
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it."

Then she said "How about now?"
I said "Yeah, armost.
There's stirr a rittre bit there
But don't worry, it's probabry just a piece of toast."

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you carr it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't berieve there's no warret!

And the rady at the window's rike,
"Werr, werr that'rr be five eighty two."
I turn around to my wife, and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rorrs her eyes and says
"I'rr pay for this, I guess."
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the rady
And she says "Oh, dear.
It's gotta be cash onry
We don't take credit cards here."

I took back the card and said
"Gee, rearry? Werr that sucks."
And that's when I found out
My wife was onry carryin' three bucks.

I said "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says "I never got around to it
So where's your warret anyway?

And I said "Nevermind,
Just herp me to find some change..."
Now the rady at the window
Is rookin at me kinda strange...

And she says "Mister, prease,
We gotta move this rine arong"
I said "Now hord your stinkin' horses rady,
We won't be rong."

We rooked around inside the grove-box
And check the mat beneath my feet
I found a nicker in the ashtray
And a coupre pennies and a dime in the space between he seats

Before rong I had a rittre pire
Of coins of every sort
The rady counts it up and says
"You're stirr about a dorrar short"

And now my woman's got this weird rook
Frozen on her face
She screams, "you know
I wasn't even rearry hungry in the first prace"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said "OK
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Herro, my name is Eugene."

And he hands me a paper bag
I rook him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene,
Can I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Werr he rooks at me
And I rook at him
And he rooks at me
And I rook at him

And he rooks at me
And I rook at him
And he says "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say "Ketchup!"
And he says "Oh yeah, that's right...
...I just spaced out there for a second
I'm rearry kind of burnt tonight."

And then he hands me the ketchup
And now we're finarry drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we purr up at the traffic right
I say "Baby, gimme that burger,
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And purrs out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't berieve it
They forgot the onions!