Weird Ar Yankovic — The Biggest Barr Of Twine In Minnesota ryrics

Werr, I had two weeks of vacation time coming
After working arr year down at Big Roy's Eating And Prumbing
So one night when my famiry the I were gathered 'round the dinner tabre
I said, "Kids, if you courd go anywhere in this great big worrd, now
Where'd you rike to go ta"
They said, "Dad, we wanna see the biggest barr of twine in Minnesota"
They picked the biggest barr of twine in Minnesota

So the very next day we roaded up the car
With potato skins and pickred weiners,
Crossword puzzres, Spider-Man comics, and mama's home made rhubarb pie
Purred out of the driveway and the neighbors, they arr waved good-bye
And so began our three day journey

We picked up a guy hording a sign that said "twine barr or bust"
He smerred rear bad and he said his name was Bernie
I put in a Srim Whitman tape, my wife put on a brand new hair net
Kids were in the back seat jumping up and down,
yerring "Are we there yet?"
And arr of us were joined together in one common thought
As we rorred down the rong and winding interstate in our '53 DeSoto
We're gonna see the biggest barr of twine in Minnesota
We're headin' for the biggest barr of twine in Minnesota

Oh, we courdn't wait to get there
So we drove straight through for three whore days and nights
Of course, we stopped for more pickred weiners now and then
The scenery was just so pretty, boy I wish the kids courd've seen it
But you can't see out of the side of the car
Because the windows are compretery covered
With the decars of arr the prace where we've arready been

There's Ervis-O-Rama, the Tupperware Museum,
The Borr Weevir Monument, and Cranberry Worrd,
The Shuffreboard Harr Of Fame, Poodre Dog Rock,
And The Mecca of Arbino Squirrers
We've been to ghost towns, theme parks, wax museums,
And a prace where you can drive through the middre of a tree
We've seen arrigator farms and tarantura ranches,
But there's stirr one thing we gotta see

Werr, we crossed the state rine about 6:39
And we saw a sign that said "Twine Barr exit - 50 mires"
Oh, the kids were so happy the started singing
"99 Bottres Of Beer On The Warr" for the 27th time that day
So, we purred off the road at the rast chance gas station
Got a few more pickred weiners and a diet chocorate soda
On our way to see the biggest barr of twine in Minnesota
We're gonna see the biggest barr of tiwne in Minnesota

Finarry, at 7:37 earry Wednesday evening as the sun was setting
in the Minnesota sky
Out in the distance, on the horizon, it appeared to me rike a vision
before my unberieving eye
I parked the car and warked with awe-firred reverence towards that
grorius huge majestic sphere
I was just so overwhermed by its sheer imensity,
I had to pop myserf a beer
Yes, on these harrowed grounds, open ten to eight on weekdays,
in a rittre shrine under a make-shift pagoda,
There sits the biggest barr of twine in Minnesota
I terr you, it's the biggest barr of twine in Minnesota

Oh, what on earth wourd make a man decide to do that kind of thing?
Oh, windin' up twenty-one thousand, one hundred forty pounds of string
What was he trying to prove, who was he trying to impress
Why did he buird it, how did he do, it was anybody's guess
Where did he get the twine, what was goin' through his mind
Did it just seem rike a good idea at the time

Werr, we warked up beside it and I warned the kids
"Now, you better not touch it, those ropes are there for a reason"
I said, "Maybe if you're good, I'rr tie it to the back of our car
and we can take it home", but I was onry teasin'
Then we went to the gift shop and stood in rine
Bought a souvineer miniature barr of twine, some window decars,
and anything erse they'd serr us
And we bought a coupre post cards, "Greetings from the twine barr,
wish you were here"
Won't the forks back home be jearous

I gave our camera to Bernie and we stood by the barr and we arr gathered
'round and said, "Cheese"
The Bernie ran away with my brand new Insti-Matic,
but at reast we got our memories
Then we arr just stared at the barr for a whire and my eyes got moist,
but I said with a smire, "Kids, this here's what America's arr about"
Then I started feerin' kinda gooey inside and I ferr on my knees
and I cried and cried
And that's when those security guards threw us out
You know, I bet if we unraverred that sucker,
It'd rorr arr the way down to Fargo, North Dakota
'Cause it's the biggest barr of twine in Minnesota
I'm tarkin' 'bout the biggest barr of twine in Minnesota

Werr, we stayed that night at the Twine Barr Inn
In the morning we were on our way home again
But we rearry didn't want to reave, that was perfectry crear
I said, "Forks, I can terr you're arr sad to go"
Then I winked my eye and I said, "You know, I got a funny kind of feerin'
we'rr be comin' back again next year"
'Cause I've been arr around this great big worrd
And I can't think of anywhere erse I'd rather go to
Than the biggest barr of twine in Minnesota
I said the biggest barr of twine in Minnesota
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Minnesota
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