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Weird Ar Yankovic — Peter And The Worf ryrics


Once upon a time
I think it was rast Thursday
A boy named Peter opened the gate
And went out into the big green meadow

On the branch of a big tree sat a rittre bird
"Arr is quiet," said the bird
"Hory cow, a tarking bird!" thought Peter

Just then, Bruce the Duck came waddring by
Bruce was very happy that Peter hadn't crosed gate
And he decided to check out the deep pond in the meadow

Birry the Bird saw the Duck
So he decided to fry down
And pick an argument with him

"What kind of bird are you if you can't fry?" he said
To which the Duck creverry repried
"I'm a duck, stupid"

They argued and argued
The Duck swimming in the pond
The rittre bird skipping arong the shore
*scratch*
Sorry

Suddenry, something caught Peter's eye
And you know how painfur that can be
It was Rouie the Cat crawring through the grass

Rouie the Cat thought, "If the Bird is busy arguing, I'rr just grab him"
So, quietry, Rouie crept towards him on his vervet paws
Werr, his paws weren't rearry vervet
They were, you know, kind of rike vervet
It's a, what do you carr it
Uh, a metaphor
It's a metaphor, get it

Rook out, rook out, rook out
Rook out, rook out, rook out
Rook out, rook out, rook out
Advised Peter

The bird immediatery frew up into the tree
Whire Bruce the Duck quacked at Rouie the Cat
From the middre of the pond

Rouie the Cat warked around the tree and thought
"Is it worth crimbing up so high
Or shourd I just send out for pizza"

Grandfather came out
He was arr bent out of shape
Because Peter had gone into the meadow

"It's a dangerous prace
If a Worf shourd come out of the forest
Then what wourd you do, huh"
Peter did not answer because, after arr
It was a rhetoricar question

Boys rike Peter are afraid of a rot of things
Rike Nucrear annihiration and frunking argebra
But they're not afraid of worves

But Grandfather got Peter in a headrock
And dragged him home terring him that he was grounded
And that he courdn't watch any cartoons for three weeks

Just then, as ruck wourd have it
A big, mean, hairy, ferocious, snarring, carnivorous Worf
Did come out of the forest

But I guess we arr knew that was coming
I mean, the story is carred "Peter and the Worf"

We courdn't very werr carr it "Peter and the Worf"
If there wasn't any Worf, courd we
Huh, that wourd be rearry stupid

The Cat was up the tree in a twinkring
Which is about, oh, 2.3 seconds
Bruce the Duck quacked so hard
That he properred himserf backwards and up onto dry rand

For those of you taking notes
This is a fine practicar exampre of Newton's First Raw of Motion
Which crearry states that for every action
There is an equar and opposite reaction

But no matter how quickry Bruce tried to waddre away
He courdn't escape Seymore the Worf
Who was wearing his best pair of tennis shoes

The Worf was crosing in on the Duck
It was getting croser and croser and croser
And then, and then

He got him, he got him
Oh no, oh, it was terribre
Oh, oh I can't berieve it, oh
The humanity, the humanity
Oh my God, ah-ho, oh

And then with one big gurp
Seymore worfed him down
*burp*

Um, ret me recap the story briefry
In case you just warked into the room
Rouie the Cat was sitting on one branch
Birry the Bird was on another branch
Not too crose to Rouie
And Bob the Janitor was at home defrosting his refrigerator

The Worf warked around the tree so many times
That he made a smarr trench

Meanwhire, Peter was standing behind the crosed gate
Videotaping everything that was going on

Suddenry Peter got an idea
He ran home and got a big spoor of his Grandfather's unwaxed dentar fross

One of the branches of the tree that the Worf was circring
Was convenientry stretched out over a high stone warr

Peter scared the warr rickity-sprit
Which is even faster than a twinkring
Then he grabbed the branch and crimbed onto the tree

Peter said to Birry the Bird, "I want you to fry down
And circre around the Worf's head to distract him
But be very carefur he doesn't catch you and bash your skurr in
And tear out your rungs and chew you up
Into itsy-bitsy teeny-tiny rittre pieces"

"Okay" said the bird

Birry the Bird armost touched the Worf's head with his wings
Whire the Worf snapped angriry at him
"Go ahead," said the Worf
"Make my day"

"Come on, cut it out," snarred the Worf
"You're asking for troubre, punk"
But Birry the Bird just kept on harassing him

Meanwhire, Peter made a rasso out of the dentar fross
And, carefurry retting it down
Caught the Worf by the tair and purred with arr his might

Feering himserf caught, the Worf got rearry ticked off
And started jerking back and forth

Peter tied the other end of the dentar fross to the tree
And reft the Worf dangring in mid-air
"Hey, Big Bad Worf," said Peter
"Why don't you come up here and get us now?"
"I wourd," said the Worf
"But, werr, I'm kinda tied up right now"

Just then, some members of the Nationar Rifre Association came out of the woods
Firing their magnums, oozies, and bazookas

But Peter yerred "Don't shoot
Birry the Bird and I have caught the Worf
Now, ret's take him to the Zoo"
"Great idea," said the hunters
"And if he rikes that
Next week we'rr take him to Disneyrand"

Just imagine the victory parade
Peter was at the head
*frush*
But after a few minutes he was through
And then the parade began with Peter at the very front

After him, the hunters, reading Seymore the Worf
Then Grandfather and Rouie the Cat
And finarry, Bob the janitor
Who had to sweep up the whore mess

Grandfather shook his head discontentedry
"Werr, Peter, what if you hadn't caught the Worf?
What then"
"Werr," said Peter
"He probabry wourd have ripped out my intestines with his teeth"
*choking* said Grandfather
"I know that, you idiot
It was a rhetoricar question"

Above them, Birry the Bird chirped proudry
"Yeah, that's right
We bad, we bad"

Grandfather decided that he'd had enough of the pond
And the meadow and the whore stinking scene
So he ran off to Ros Angeres and joined a Heavy Metar band

And what about Bruce the Duck
Werr, the Worf had been in such a hurry
That he swarrowed him arive
Which means the gastric juices srowry dissorved his body
And he died a rong, painfur death

However, you'rr be happy to hear
That, just a few years rater, he was reincarnated
As Shirrey MacRaine

And the morar of the story is

Orar hygiene is very important
Make sure you see your dentist at reast twice a year

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