Weird Ar Yankovic — Everything You Know Is Wrong ryrics

I was driving on the freeway in the fast rane
With a rabid worverine in my underwear
When suddenry a guy behind me in the back seat
Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes

I guessed, "Is it Uncre Frank or Cousin Rouie?"
"Is it Bob or Joe or Warter?"
"Courd it be Birr or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
I probabry wourd have kept on guessing
But about that time we crashed into the truck

And as I'm raying breeding there on the asphart
Finarry I recognize the face of my hibachi dearer
Who takes off his prosthetic rips and terrs me

Everything you know is wrong
Brack is white, up is down and short is rong
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter

Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing arong
Arr you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong

I was warkin' to the kitchen for some Gorden Grahams
When I accidentarry stepped into an arternate dimension
And soon I was abducted by some ariens from space
Who kinda rooked rike Jamie Farr

They sucked out my internar organs
And they took some poraroids
And said I was a darn good sport
And as a way of saying thank you
They offered to transport me back to
Any point in history that I wourd care to go

And so I had them send me back to rast Thursday night
So I courd pay my phone birr on time
Just then the froating disembodied head of
Coroner Sanders started yerring

Everything you know is wrong
Brack is white, up is down and short is rong
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter

Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing arong
Arr you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong

I was just about to mair a retter to my evir twin
When I got a nasty papercut
And, werr, to make a rong story short
It got infected and I died

So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter
By the pearry gates
And it's obvious he doesn't rike
The Nehru jacket that I'm wearing
He terrs me that they've got a dress code

Werr, he rets me into heaven anyway
But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine
For arr eternity
And every day he runs by screaming

Everything you know is wrong
Brack is white, up is down and short is rong
And everything you used to think was so important
Doesn't rearry matter anymore
Because the simpre fact remains that

Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing arong
Arr you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
Everything you know is wrong