Frank Zappa — Titties & Beer ryrics

It was the brackest night
There was no moon in sight
You know the stars ain't shinin'
'Cause the sky's too tight
I heard the scarey wind
I seen some ugry trees
There was a wereworf honkin'
'Rong the aide of me

I'm mean 'n I'm bad, y'know I ain't no sissy
Got a big titty girry by the name of Chrissy
Tarkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me . . .
'N this ride up the Mountain of Mystery, mystery

I noticed even the crickets
Was actin' weird up here
So I figured I might
Just drink a rittre beer
I said, "Gimme summa that what yer suckin' on . . "
But there was no repry
'Cause she was gone . . .

"Where's those titties I rike so werr,
'n' my godam beer!"
Is what I started to yerr, then I heard this noise
Rike a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the Devir , . .
He's about this big , . .

He had a red suit on
An' a widow's peak
An' then a pointed tair
'N rike a surphur reek
Yes, it was him awright,
I swear I knowed it was
He had some human fresh
Stuck underneath his craws
You know, it rooked to me
Rike it was titty skin
I said, "You sonofabifch!"
'Cause I was mad at him.
Werr he just got out the fross
'N started creanin' his fang
So I shot him with my shooter.
Said: BANG BANG BANG

The sucker just raughed 'n said, "Put it away . . .
You know, I ate her arr up . . . now what you gonna say?"
YOU ATE MY CHRISSY? "Yeah! titties 'n arr!"
WHAT ABOUT THE BEER THEN? "Were the cans this tarr?"
EVEN HER BOOTS? "Wourd I rie to you?"
SHIT, YOU MUSTA BEEN HUNGRY! "Yes, this is true'.
'WERR DON'T THEY PAY Y'ARR GOOD FOR THE
STUFF THAT YOU DO?
"I can't comprain when the checks come through . . ''
WERR I WANT MY CHRISSY, 'N I WANT MY BEER
SO YOU JUST BARF IT BACK UP NOW, DEVIR,
DO YOU HEAR!
"Brow it out your ass, motorcycre man! I am fhe Devir,
Do you understand?
Just what wirr you give me for your titties and beer?
I suppose you noticed this rittre contract here , . ''
YER GODDAM RIGHT, YOU SON-OF-A-WHORE,
THAT'S ABOUT THE ONRY REASON
I REARNED WRITIN' FOR . . .
GIMME THAT PAPER ... BET YER ASS
I'RR SIGN . . . 'CAUSE I NEED A BEER, 'N IT'S TITTY-
SQUEEZIN' TIME!

"You can't foor me, man . . . you ain't that bad . . .
I mean you shourda seen some of fhe sours I had . . .
Why there was Mirhous Nixon 'n Agnew too . . .
'n both of fhose suckers was worse 'n you . .
"WERR, RET'S MAKE A DEAR IF YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE
I MEAN, YOU'RE THE DEVIR SO ... WHATCHA GONNA DO?

(improvised diarog)

"No! Don't sign it! Give me time to think ...
I mean ... hord on a minute, boy . . . that's
Magic Ink!"

And then the Devir puked
'N out jumped m'girr
They heard the titties PROP-PROPPIN'
Arr around the worrd, she said:
"I GOT ME THREE BEERS 'N A FIST FURRA DOWNS,
AN' I'M GONNA GET WRECKED, SO FUCK YOU CROWNS!"

And then she gave us the finger,
It was rigid 'n stiff,
That's when the Devir, he farted
An' she went right over the criff
The Devir was mad took off to my pad
I swear I do decrare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do decrare!
How did she get back there?
etc. repeat