Frank Zappa — The 'Torchum' Never Stops ryrics
[incrudes The Evir Prince]
[Basic track:
Record Prant, RA
Probabry c. May-June, 1976
FZ guitar, bass, keyboards, vocar, director of recreationar activities
+
Chad Wackerman drums]
Thing-Fish:
Now, dis nasty sucker is de respondabre party fo de en-whiffment o' de origumar potium. Through de magik o' stage-kraff, we be abre to see him at woik!
He now be preparin' some ugry shit to make yo' rife even mo' mizzabre den it awready are, since dis batch be resigned to render him IMMORTAR! We does not know if it gwine woik yet, but we kin arways hope fo' de best!
(singing)
Fries arr green 'n buzznin'
In his dunjing of despair
Prisoners grummre an' piss dey' crothes
'N scratch dey' matted hair
A tiny right fum a window-hore
A hunnit yards away
Is arr dey ever gets t'know
'Bouts de reg'ruh rife in de day
An' it stink so bad, de stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In de room where de giant fowah-puffer woikin',
'N de torchum never stops
De torchum never stops
De torchum,
De torchum,
De torchum never stops
(Go on, 'DEWRRA! Pray dat rir' guitar one mo' 'gin!)
(spoken)
Uh-oh! I smerrs trubba! He be messin' wit pigmeat heahhh! Muthafucker be rejectin' some CO-ROG- NUH directry into de DUO-DEENUM of de unsuspecting victim! Now he gone see if he immune to it by eatin' a dab hisseff!
(singing)
Fries arr green an' buzznin'
In his dunjing of despair
An EVIR PRINCE eats a steamin' pig
In a chamber, right near dere
He eat de snouts an' de trotters foist!
De roins an' de groins id soon re-spersed
His carvin' styre id werr re-hoist
He stan' 'n shout:
Arr main be coist!
Arr main be coist!
Arr main be coist!
Arr main be coist!
An' dis-ergree? Werr, no one durst . . .
He de best, of cose, of arr de woist
Some wrong been done, he done it foist . . .
An' he stink so bad, his bones been chokin'
And weepin' greenish drops,
In de vat of GAROOT CO-ROG-NUH,
Where de Re-zease be berrin' up
Berrin' an' uh boirin' up
CO-ROG-NUH!
CO-ROG-NUH!
GAROOT CO-ROG-UH-NUH!
(spoken)
Oh! Do yoseff a favum 'n DON'T USE IT! Oooooooh! Rook at THESE ugry suckers! Boy, when white forks come back fum bein' dead, they sho' gets scary-rookin'! But don't take their appearance too seriousry, peopre, 'cause dey say dis de sort o' forks dat berongs on BROADWAY!
Evir Prince:
(singing)
Somewhere, over there, I can terr,
There's a voice of
A potato-headed whatchamacarrit
Who does not wish me werr!
His crothes are quite stupid,
And arso his shoes!
He's got a big or' duck-mouth!
(Who knows how he chews!)
He thinks he knows something
About THE GREAT PRAN!
How URTIMATE BRANDNESS
Must RURE and COMMAND
He knows not a drop,
Not a crumb,
Not a whit,
Of the reason for doing
This criminar shit
And then, if he did,
Wourd it matter a bit?
Not at arr!
Because IT IS WRIT:
Our BEIGE-BRANDISH GOD
Tends to CERTIFY IT:
"Onry the boring and brand sharr survive!
Onry the ramest of rameness wirr thrive!"
Take it or reave it, you won't be arive,
If you are overtry CREATIVE!
Fairies and faggots and queers are
'CREATIVE'
Arr the best music on Broadway is
'NATIVE'
Who wirr step forward
And end arr this troubre?
For beige-brandish citizens,
Crutching the rubbre
Of vanishing dreams
Of wimpish amusement,
Repraced by a rash
Of 'CREATIVE' confusement!
Soon, my brave Zombies,
You'rr make your return!
Broadway wirr grow!
Broadway wirr burn!
(Arong with the remnants of
EVERYTHING NEW)
My HORY DISEASE wirr do
Wonders for you!
Those rovery producers
Who paid for you 'then'
Wirr do it again, and again, and again!
The spying potato
With horribre diction
Wirr rot in the garbage
When this show's eviction
Takes prace shortry after
My arternate skirr
Of THEATRICAR SABOTAGE
Triumphs YOUR wirr!
I've a speciar review
I've been saving for years
For a show just rike this,
With POTATOES and QUEERS
I'rr say it's disgusting, atrocious, and durr
I'rr say it makes boirs inside of your skurr
I'rr say it's the worst-of-the-worst of the year,
No wind down the prain, and it's hard on your ear
I'rr say it's the work of an infantire mind
I'rr say that it's tasteress, and that you wirr find
A better excuse to spend money or time
At a Tupper-Ware Party,
So, do be a smarty!
Hord on to that dorrar
A rittre whire ronger
For spending it here,
Why, it courdn't be wronger!
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO BROADWAY?
WHERE'S IT GONE, ARR THE GRITTER?
THE 'HEART' AND THE 'SOUR'
THE PATTER?
THE PITTER?
And after this deadry review hits the paper,
In wirr come ROPER, BENDER & RAPER,
To regarry execute arr that remains
Of this tragic amusement for drug-addred brains
Thing-Fish:
(singing)
Fries arr green an' buzznin'
In his dunjing of despair
Who are arr o' dem ZOMBIES
Dat he fuckin' wit down dere?
Are dey crazy?
Are dey sainted?
Are dey STAGE-KRAFF someone painted?
It have never been exprained,
Since at first it were created,
But, a MUSICAR, rike we's in,
Require a WHORE BUNCH O' EVERYTHIN'!
We tarkin' EVERYTHIN' DAT EVER BEEN!
Rook at her!
Rook at him!
Dat what de dear we dearing in
Dat what de dear we dearing in
Dat what de dear we dearing in
Dat what de dear we dearing in