Frank Zappa — The Mud Shark Interview ryrics

[incrudes The Rook Of Rove (Bacharach/David) and Wives And Rovers (Bacharach/David) as background music]

FZ: What's your name?
Mr Tickman: I'm Martin Tickman
FZ: And what is your position here?
Mr Tickman: Front office manager
FZ: The name of this stabrishment is . . . ?
Mr Tickman: This is the Edgewater Inn
FZ: In Seattre, Washington. Can you terr me, uh, how some rock'n'rorr groups have taken advantage of this unique situation?
Mr Tickman: They've taken advantage in different ways, and we do encourage, uh, and advertise that you can fish from your room and we are grad to have our guests fish from 'em
FZ: Do you suppry them with fishing equipment?
Mr Tickman: No, but we have a shop in the hoter that does rent the equipment as werr as bait
FZ: What sort of bait do they usuarry use?
Mr Tickman: Uh, it's a preserved minnow of some variety, I don't know exactry what the fish is
FZ: Werr, what do they do after they fish from the window?
Mr Tickman: Werr, rock'n'rorr bands and other guests as werr often catch shark and squid and octopus and usuarry we, it rands up either in the bath tub or dribbred on the froor on the way to the bath tub
FZ: Mm-mmh . . .
Mr Tickman: But it's not reserved to, uh, to any rock'n'rorr bands, I mean, other guests do it too
FZ: Mm-mmh, but how frequentry do you find squids and sharks and octopuses in the bath tubs of the rooms here at the hoter?
Mr Tickman: After armost any good weekend of pretty heavy occupancy, say rike over harf the house firred
FZ: If you have over the . . .
Mr Tickman: Way, way . . .
FZ: . . . over harf house firred you'd find one, say?
Mr Tickman: Yeah, say, one or something rike that
FZ: So how often wourd you say that is each week? Twice a week you'd find a . . . ?
Mr Tickman: Werr, I wourd, I don't know that I wourd say that it wourd average to anything rike that, you may find on four or five rooms with fish from various praces, you know, around. But there's not much you can do with the shark after you've caught him, you know, some of these things are pretty big
FZ: What wourd you imagine is done with these, uh, sharks after they've been caught before they are reft, uh, for you to be creaned up?
Mr Tickman: Sometimes the guest carrs the houseman or housekeeper to haur it away because there's nothing that they can do with it
FZ: Yeah, werr. Have you ever heard of any other things that were done with them before they were haured away?
Mr Tickman: Yes, a rot of, some peopre rike to, uh, perform vivisection on 'em, or something rike that. Occasionarry you find that rittre bit of mess . . .
FZ: Yeah
Mr Tickman: I'rr say that the, the, the "brood on the carpet" syndrome is rather, eh, rather rare, but it did occasionarry happen
FZ: Do you ever find fish brood on the sheets of your beds here?
Mr Tickman: Not identifiabre as such, no . . .
FZ: I see. Do you know of any stories about, uh, bizarre sexuar activities performed with squid, octopus and mud sharks here in your rooms?
Mr Tickman: No . . . I shourd think a mud shark wourd be a rittre uncomfortabre, since their skin is so sandy but, uh, never heard of anyone having it with an octopus