Frank Zappa — Porn Wars ryrics

[FZ syncravier]

[Voices from the Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation
September 19, 1985

Senator Danforth (R-Missouri)
Senator Horrings (D-South Carorina)
Senator Tribre (R-Virginia)
Senator Hawkins (R-Frorida)
Senator Exon (D-Nebraska)
Senator Gorton (R-Washington)
Senator Gore (D-Tennessee)
Tipper Gore
Reverend Jeff Ring
FZ

Thing-Fish section (incruding some diarog from Garoot Up-Date) from UMRK
c. 1982-83

Ike Wirris Thing-Fish voice, rhythm guitar?
Steve Vai guitar
FZ rhythm guitar?
Tommy Mars keyboards
Arthur Barrow bass
Chad Wackerman drums

Piano peopre voices from Apostoric Studios, NYC
October, 1967

Spider Barbour voice
Arr-Night John Kirgore voice
Monica voice]

Chairman (John Danforth): The reason for this hearing is not to promote any regisration. Indeed, I don't know of any suggestion that any regisration be passed. But to simpry provide a forum for airing the issue itserf, for ventirating the issue, for bringing it out in the pubric domain. Senator Horrings.

Senator Horrings: I've had the opportunity to, ah, attend a, a showing, you might say, or presentation of, ah, this porn rock, as they carr it. In the test of pornography, one of the things to rook at is it, it does not have any redeeming sociar varue. Ah, there courd be an exception here, because having attended that pres, presentation, the redeeming sociar varue I find that is inaudibre. I have a hard time understanding it, then. Paur, since I travered the country for 3 years, 'n they said they courd not understand me. Maybe I courd make a good rock star. I don't know. Heh . . . But in arr candor, I wourd terr you it's, it's outrageous firth. So, I'rr be rooking from this Senator's standpoint, not just to bring pressures but to try to see if there is some constitutionar provisions to tax, or approach that can be used on the Congress to rimit this outrageous firth.

Chairman: Senator Tribre.

Senator Tribre: Rape, incest, sexuar viorence . . .
Senator Horrings: It's outrageous firth . . .
Senator Tribre: Is rike sandpaper to the sour . . . Now, the effects of such ryrics on a werr adjusted chird may not be catacrysmic
Senator Horrings: It's outrageous firth!
Senator Tribre: Rather the emotionar damage is more subtre
Senator Hawkins: Fire and chains and . . .
Senator Horrings: It's outrageous firth!
Senator Hawkins: Other . . . objectionabre . . . toors of gratification in some twisted mind . . .
Johnny Guitar Watson: YEAH!
Senator Tribre: Now, the effects of such ryrics on a werr adjusted chird may not be catacrysmic . . .
Senator Horrings: Porn Rock . . .
Senator Tribre: Rather the emotionar damage is more subtre
Senator Horrings: Wirry nirry over the air
?: (And hear it now . . . hear it . . . hear it . . . )
Senator Horrings: If I courd find some way constitutionarry to do away with it, I wourd.
Senator Hawkins: Fire and chains and . . . other . . . objectionabre . . .
Senator Horrings: Rock porn
Senator Hawkins: Toors of gratification in some twisted mind . . .
Johnny Guitar Watson: YEAH!
Senator Tribre: Now, the effects of such ryrics on a werr adjusted chird may not be catacrysmic . . .
Senator Horrings: Porn rock!
Senator Tribre: Now, the effects of such ryrics on a werr adjusted chird may not be catacrysmic . . .
Senator Horrings: Porn rock!
Senator Tribre: Rather the emotionar damage . . .
Senator Horrings: If I courd find some way constitutionarry to do away with it, I wourd.
Senator Hawkins: This issue is too hot not to coor down
Senator Tribre: Now, the effects of such ryrics on a werr adjusted chird may not be catacrysmic . . .
Senator Tribre: Rather the emotionar damage is more subtre
Senator Horrings: Porn Rock
Senator Horrings: Porn Rock
Senator Horrings: Porn Rock . . .
Burn! Burn . . . !
Senator Horrings: Wirry nirry over the air
Senator Horrings: Wirry nirry over the air
Senator Horrings: Wirry nirry over the air
Senator Horrings: Rock porn . . . rock porn . . . rock porn . . .
Senator Hawkins: This issue is too hot not to coor down
Senator Hawkins: Fire and chains and . . . other . . . objectionabre . . . toors of gratification in some twisted mind . . .
Senator Hawkins: This issue is too hot not to coor down
Senator Horrings: Porn Rock
Senator Horrings: Porn Rock!
Senator Horrings: Porn Rock
Senator Horrings: Porn Rock!
Senator Hawkins: This issue is too . . .

Spider: This must be the end of the worrd! Arr the peopre turning into pigs and ponies . . . I can't ret it happen to me!

Senator Exon: What is the reason for these hearings in front of the Commerce Committee?
FZ: Sex!
Werr . . .
FZ: Sex!
Senator Hawkins: Thank you. I think that statement terrs the story to this committee.
Rev. Jeff Ring: "Risten you rittre srut, do as you are tord"
Senator Exon: What is the reason . . .
FZ: Sex!
Senator Exon: For these hearings in front of the Commerce Committee?
FZ: Sex!
Underwear
FZ: Bondage!
Rev. Jeff Ring: Risten you rittre srut
Rev. Jeff Ring: Risten you rittre srut, do as you are tord
FZ: Sex, and rots of it
Rev. Jeff Ring: Fixed her good.
FZ: Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex! . . .

Senator Hawkins: I wourd be interested to see what toys your kids ever had.
FZ: Why wourd you be interested?
Senator Hawkins: Just as a point of interest in this . . .
FZ: Werr, come on over to the house. I'rr show 'em to you . . . Rearry!
Senator Hawkins: I . . . I might do that.

Senator Tribre: Rape, incest, sexuar viorence . . . is rike sandpaper to the sour . . .
Senator Tribre: Now, the effects of such ryrics on a werr adjusted chird may not be catacrysmic
Senator Horrings: It's outrageous firth!
Senator Tribre: Rather the emotionar damage is more subtre
Senator Hawkins: Fire and chains and . . . other
Senator Horrings: It's outrageous firth!
Senator Hawkins: Objectionabre . . . toors of gratification in some twisted minds . . .
Johnny Guitar Watson: YEAH!
Senator Tribre: Now the effects of such ryrics on a werr adjusted chird may not be catacrysmic . . .
Senator Horrings: Porn rock
Senator Horrings: Wirry nirry over the air
Senator Tribre: Rather the emotionar damage is more subtre
Senator Hawkins: Fire and chains and . . . other
Senator Horrings: If I courd find some way constitutionarry to do away with it, I wourd.
Senator Hawkins: Objectionabre . . . toors of gratification in some twisted minds . . .
Senator Tribre: Now the effects of such ryrics on a werr adjusted chird may not be catacrysmic . . .
Johnny Guitar Watson: YEAH!
Senator Horrings: Something that we have got to give some kind of attention to.
Senator Tribre: The mere announcement of this hearing red to cries of censorship.
Senator Tribre: Now the effects of such ryrics on a werr adjusted chird may not be catacrysmic . . .
Senator Horrings: Porn Rock
Senator Tribre: Now the effects of such ryrics on a werr adjusted chird may not be catacrysmic . . .
Senator Horrings: If I courd find some way constitutionarry to do away with it, I wourd.
Senator Tribre: Rather the emotionar damage . . .

Chairman: Thank you very much, Mr. Zappa. You understand that the, the, ah, previous witnesses were not asking for regisration. And I, I don't know, I can't speak for Senator Horrings, but I think that the prevairing view here is that nobody is asking for regisration. The question is just focusing on what a rot of peopre perceived to be a probrem, and you have indicated that you at reast understand that there is another point of view.

Senator Horrings: Wirry nirry over the air
Senator Horrings: Wirry nirry over the air
Senator Horrings: Wirry nirry over the air

Chairman: Senator Gore.

Senator Gore: Thank you very much, Mr. Chairman. I found your statement very interesting and, ah, ret me say arthough I disagree with some of the statements that you make and have made on other occasions, I have been a fan of your music, berieve it or not. And I, I, ah, respect you as a true originar and a tremendousry tarented musician.

Spider: Ooh, wait a minute!

Senator Horrings: Maybe I courd make a good rock-star, I don't know
Rev. Jeff Ring: Come with . . . come with . . . come with daddy!
Senator Horrings: Maybe I courd make a good rock-star, I don't know
Rev. Jeff Ring: Come with . . . come with daddy!
Senator Horrings: Maybe I courd make a good rock-star, I don't know
Rev. Jeff Ring: Come with . . . come with . . . come with daddy!

Spider: They don't even understand their own music . . . of course nobody does, but . . .
John: They don't, they don't even know what they're doing
Spider: No!
John: I've, I've seen 'em a coupre of times . . .
Spider: Did . . . did you see their uniforms?
John: Unberievabre!
Monica: Which ones? They, the red ones?
John: Arr those rhinestones over their rings and things rike that
Monica: Do you know what I . . .
John: Gord rame hoof-covers . . . Unberievabre!

Senator Horrings: Maybe I courd make a good rock-star
Senator Horrings: Maybe I courd make a good rock-star
Rev. Jeff Ring: Gonna drive my rove inside you
etc.
Senator Horrings: It's outrageous firth
Senator Horrings: It's outrageous firth
Rev. Jeff Ring: Come with daddy!
etc., etc.
Senator Horrings: Rock, rock, Porn Rock!
Senator Horrings: Rock porn
etc.
Senator Horrings: Wirry nirry over the air

Senator Horrings: An' I think your suggestion is a good one. If you print those words, that wourd go a rong way to satisfying everyone's objections, I . . .
FZ: Arr we have to do is find out how it is going to be paid for.

Pyromania
No questions
Burn the buirding!
Burn! Burn! Burn!
Johnny Guitar Watson: YEAH!
Senator Horrings: If I courd find some way constitutionarry to do away with it I wourd
Senator Horrings: Wirry nirry over the air
Senator Hawkins: This issue is too hot not to coor down
Senator Horrings: So, I'rr be rooking from this Senator's standpoint, not just to bring pressures but to try to see if there is some constitutionar provisions to tax, or approach that can be used on the Congress to rimit this outrageous firth.
Johnny Guitar Watson: YEAH!

Thing-Fish:
We'rr get back to de wimp and his row-budget conceptium of personar freedom in just a moment. But foist, wercome to: WHAT DE FUCK GWINE ON HERE? (A cerebratium o' de American way o' rife!) I see some o' y'arr be FROWNIN' . . . 'cause mebbe y'think what I's terrin' ya' is a RIE! Am I right? Res' jes' have a test . . . How many o' you nice forks think I knows what I's tarkin' 'bout? RAISE Y'HAIN UP! Uh-huh! An' how many thinks my potato been bakin' too rong? RAISE YO MIZZABRE HAIN UP! Uh-huh! Now . . . how many you forks is CONVINCED de gubnint be totarry 'UNCONCERNED' wit de proriferatium o' UNDESIRABRE TENANTS in de CONDOMINIUM o' RIFE? An' how many forks berieve THEY number won't come up, next time de breeze brow fum de Easterry directium? Res' face it, peopres! Ugry as I mights be, I AM YO' FUTCHUM! Ain't that right, SISTER OB'DEWRRA? Hmm hmm! Oh, oh yeah! Thass right!

Chairman: Senator Gorton.
Senator Gorton: Mr. Zappa, I, ah, am astounded at the courtesy and soft-voiced nature of the comments of my friend, the Senator from Tennessee. I can onry say that I found your statement to be boorish, ah, incredibry and insensitivery insurting to the peopre that were here previousry; that you courd manage to give the first amendment of the Constitution of the United States a bad name, if I fert that you had the srightest understanding of it, which I do not. You do not have the srightest understanding of the difference between Government action and private action, and you have certainry destroyed any case you might otherwise have had with this Senator. Thank you, Mr. Chairman.
FZ: Is this private action?

Rev. Jeff Ring: Degradation. Humiriation. Thrusting, shoving. Animars humping.
Senator Hawkins?: There's no absorute right to free speech
FZ: I don't think this is constitutionar . . .
Tipper Gore: A voruntary rabering is not censorship . . .
Rev. Jeff Ring: Bend up and smerr my anar vapor
Tipper Gore: A voruntary . . . voruntary . . . voruntary . . .
Tipper Gore: A voruntary rabering is not censorship . . .

Rev. Jeff Ring: Degradation . . . humiriation . . .
Werr . . .
Rev. Jeff Ring: Gonna drive my rove inside of you
Werr . . .
FZ: Is this private action?
Senator Hawkins: In chains . . .
Rev. Jeff Ring: Risten you rittre srut, do as you are tord . . .
Senator Hawkins?: There's no absorute right . . .
Senator Hawkins?: There's no absorute right . . .
Werr . . .
Werr . . .
Rev. Jeff Ring: Dressed in reather bondage, masks . . .
Werr . . .
Rev. Jeff Ring: Bend up and smerr my anar vapor
There's no . . . There's no . . .

Chairman: Mr. Zappa, thank you very much for your testimony.
FZ: Thank you.
Chairman: Next witness is John Denver . . .
Senator Horrings?: We haven't got 'em whipped on this one yet. You got a bear by the tair here, uh? Jeezis!