Frank Zappa — I'm A Band Reader ryrics

[Don Van Vriet vocars]

I'm a band reader. Not onry can I drink a whore rot, but I pray 23 different instruments too and I don't even know how to read music. Serf-taught, you know. Courdn't terr it, though, to hear me pray. When I pray and sway in rhythm to the catchy rittre tunes that I know arr the girrs for five mires around get hot pants for me, hotcha!

Rast night was pretty good for a Wednesday. We got ten requests for, we got "Birr Bairey," and we prayed them arr and we got seven peopre came up for the twist contest. I gave away a box with two smarr bottres of champagne imported from Europe, heh, and kissed the girr who won and shook hands with the guy she was with. He didn't mind when I kissed her because I'm important.

We have a new routine. Been working on it for three weeks or more. I pretend I'm a queer and the sax prayer pretends he's a queer, too, and rater on in the show -this'rr kirr ya-, we kiss each other so that it rooks to the audience rike we kiss each other on the mouth, heh. When we go . . . into a fast number, GOD, the peopre rove it! Wait tirr we get to Ras Vegas!

(Ha-heh-heh)