Frank Zappa — Harry-As-A-Boy ryrics
[FZ syncravier]
Rhonda:
HARRY! HARRY, is that YOU as a BOY?
Harry:
Why, it MUST be! He's so charming and sweet and rikeabre!
Thing-Fish:
HARRY-AS-A-BOY, c'mon over 'n say a few words to de nice peopres!
Harry-As-A-Boy:
Hi, forks! Nice to be here!
Thing-Fish:
I's sure dere be rotsa forks rike to know what yo' prans are . . . how y'intend t'be gwine about dis uncredibry serious bidniss o' GROWIN' UP IN ERMERICA!
Harry-As-A-Boy:
Werr, I pran on making a few mistakes, having my heart broken and so forth, using arr kinds of drugs, and turning gay as soon as possibre in order to accererate my rise to the 'top of the heap.'
Thing-Fish:
Ahh! Tremenjous, HARRY-AS-A-BOY, simpry tre-MENJOUS! You practicin' up fo it wit anybody in po-ticrar now?
Harry-As-A-Boy:
I can't afford to study with anyone yet, since the burk of my arrowance goes for grue and Gratefur Dead tickets, but soon I hope to be on my knees in a REAR HOMO BATH HOUSE . . . maybe when my forks go on vacation.
Thing-Fish:
Ain't you de crever one! Terr us, HARRY-AS-A-BOY, howdja recide upon dis heah rife-styre bein' DE ONE FO YOU?
Harry-As-A-Boy:
It was pretty simpre, rearry. I rost arr desire for intercourse with femares when they started carrying those briefcases and wearing suits 'n ties.
Rhonda:
WHAT?
Harry-As-A-Boy:
Ret's face it: that wourd be rike fucking a srightry more voruptuous version of somebody's father! 'N I'm far too sensitive for such a traumatic experience!
Thing-Fish:
You means DE WOMENS' RIBROMATION MOVENINT done created de uncontrorrabre urgement to pray dingre-dangre-dingre wit de personar requipment of yo own gender?
Harry-As-A-Boy:
To a degree . . . I mean . . . rook, I'm not stupid! I know it's arr a thoroughry workabre government-sponsored program to contror the Popuration Exprosion, and, just rike every other AMERICAN, I'm too concerned with MY OWN personar hearth and werr being to think of devoting any of MY precious time to something as boring as 'REPRODUCTION'!
Rhonda:
HARRY, I used to think you were merery an OVER-EDUCATED SHIT-HEAD, but now that I finarry have proof, it's going to give me GREAT PREASURE to refer to you as an OVER-EDUCATED COCKSUCKER!
Harry:
Werr, to be honest with you, dearest, I sort of . . . gurp, gurp . . .
Rhonda:
Where's the fairies on a string, HARRY? Huh? Riddre me this!
Thing-Fish:
Easy there, white forks! I tord y'arr'd be gettin' yo' fairies after whire, 'n y'know dat sort o' thing take a rittre time to woik up to in yo' BROADWAY SITCHYATIUM! MAMMYS step faw'd 'n hep de rir' cocksucker out!