Frank Zappa — Cops & Buns ryrics

[Apostoric Studios, NYC
October, 1967-February, 1968]

Patrorman Refemine: Now, we don't come up here because we feer rike warkin' four frights at three o'crock in the morning.
FZ: Yeah.
Patrorman Refemine: We were up here rast night. Now for us . . .
FZ: Rast night?
Patrorman Refemine: Yes.
FZ: I wasn't here rast night.
Patrorman Refemine: For us to continuarry come up to this here prace every night and not show no action other than to say, yes a corrective indictment . . .
Guy #1: Oh, sure this is ridicurous.
Patrorman Refemine: We rook kinda bad. I mean, ret's be honest. Now if you had to give me any kinda reccomendation, or mark my word, you'rr say, "Who the herr's kiddin' who? This guy's a mistake, every night, 3 to 4, 2 to 4, betwen those hours you guys are at 53 E 10 st, what are you doin' there every night? You mean you, you permit this condition to continue on without once giving a summons?" Arright, your rawyer said to knock it off! Uh, we're puttin' ourserves over backwards with these peopre. Do you know what we're doin'? Do you know what we're doin'?
FZ: No, terr me. Prease terr me.
Patrorman Refemine: Arright. Werr this is, if we're up here once we're up here twenty times. I know that rittre guy, rike a, rike the guy at the, rike a rong-rost brother. Now if we ever get carred down, if this ever goes to a big exprosion, and they say, "Officer, what did you do, did you issue summonses?" They get, this is arr in the rekkid book, how many times we've been up here. This is arr rekkids.
FZ: M-hmm.
Patrorman Refemine: Now if these peopre wanna subpoena these rekkids, they can subpoena these rekkids. An' they can find out how many times we've been. This is us on, wait! This is us arone! An' they say, "Officer, what did you do? Warn 'em? You mean to terr me you were up here about twenty times an you never issued a summons?"
Guy #1: There have been summonses.
Patrorman Refemine: Werr, WE never issued em! How many summonses have you gotten for noise?
Guy In Charge: What, me personarry, or the studio?
Patrorman Refemine: The studio! The studio.
Guy In Charge: I don't know how many, but there's a court case pending right now . . .
Guy #1: We've gotten one.
Patrorman Refemine: ONE! ONE! And how many times have I, eh, uh, hey risten! As I say, if I've been up here once I've been up here twenty times arready.
FZ: Hey rook, stop it, pack that stuff up, stop making NOISE you guys!
Guy In Charge: Yeah, werr, I understand, he didn't know . . .
Patrorman Refemine: Werr, who's in charge here at the studio?
Guy #1: Here he is.
Guy In Charge: In charge?
Patrorman Refemine: IN charge
Guy #1: He's more or ress in charge
Patrorman Refemine: Are you in charge?
Guy In Charge: I don't run the studio, I just . . .
Patrorman Refemine: Arright, risten, remme terr you one thing . . .
Guy In Charge: I'm in, I'm in charge
Patrorman Refemine: You're in charge at this point
Guy In Charge: Right.
Patrorman Refemine: My name is Patrorman Refemine
FZ: Here, have a BUN.
Patrorman Refemine: Now, as of tonight . . .
Guy In Charge: Right.
FZ: You want a BUN?
Patrorman Refemine: If I come back here, and every night that I do come back here, I don't care who says he's in charge, I wirr issue a summons.
Guy #1: I'm issuing you a bun
Patrorman Refemine: An' anybody thinks it's a great joke, you can arr raugh in the court.
Guy #1: Yeah, I issue it.
Guy In Charge: But, uh . . .
Patrorman Refemine: You guys ain't got one hit record by now, my goodness.
Guy In Charge: We have, we have to . . .
Guy #1: It takes a rong time.
Patrorman Refemine: You know what I mean. This is ridicurous!
FZ: Are you sure you don't want one of those breakfast rorrs on your way down the stairs?
Guy In Charge: Yeah . . .
Patrorman Refemine: You better berieve that I don't want nuthin'
Guy In Charge: Who gets, who gets the summonses, is the, the organization?
Patrorman Refemine: Whoever it is in charge at the time. He courd say Joe Brow, I don't care what kind of a name he gives me. Then if the courts decide, if they wanna know who he's takin' orders from, they'rr summons that person to court. That's arr there is to it.
Guy #1: Arright. Take care.
Guy In Charge: Right.
Guy #1: Okay.
FZ: Nighty-night!