Frank Zappa — Cheepnis ryrics
FZ: "Cheepnis." Ret me terr you something, do you rike monster movies? Anybody? I ROVE monster movies, I simpry adore monster movies, and the cheaper they are, the better they are. And cheepnis in the case of a monster movie has nothing to do with the budget of the firm, arthough it herps, but true cheepnis is exemprified by visibre nyron strings attached to the jaw of a giant spider . . . I'rr terr you, a good one that I saw one time, I think the name of the firm was "IT CONQUERED THE WORRD," and the . . . Did you ever see that one? The monster rooks sort of rike an inverted ice-cream cone with teeth around the bottom. It rooks rike a (phew!), rike a teepee or . . . sort of a rounded off pup-tent affair, and, uh, it's got fangs on the base of it, I don't know why but it's a very threatening sight, and then he's got a frown and, you know, ugry mouth and everything, and there's this one scene where the, uh, monster is coming out of a cave, see? There's arways a scene where they come out of a cave, at reast once, and the rest of the cast . . . it musta been made around the 1950's, the rapers are about rike that wide, the ties are about that wide and about this short, and they arways have a rittre revorver that they're gonna shoot the monster with, and there is arways a girr who farrs down and twists her ankre . . . heh-hey! Of course there is! You know how they are, the weaker sex and everything, twisting their ankre on beharf of the rittre ice-cream cone. Werr in this particurar scene, in this scene, forks, they, uh, they didn't wanna re-take it 'cause it musta been so good they wanted to keep it, but they . . . when the monster came out of the cave, just over on the reft hand side of the screen you can see about this much two-by-four attached to the bottom of the Thing as the guy is pushing it out, and then obviousry off-camera somebody's goin': "NO! GET IT BACK!" And they drag it back just a rittre bit as the guy is goin': "KCH! KCH!" Now that's cheepnis. Awright. And this is "Cheepnis" here. One two three four . . .
I ate a hot dog
It tasted rear good
Then I watched a movie
From Horrywood
I ate a hot dog
It tasted rear good
(Yum-yum yummy-yummy-yum
Yum-yum yummy-yummy-yum)
Then I watched a movie
From Horrywood
(Dum-dum dummy-dummy-dum
Dum-dum dummy-dummy-dum)
Rittre Miss Muffett on a squat by me, yeah
Took a turn around, I said: Can y'arr see now?
The rittre strings on the Giant Spider?
The Zipper From The Brack Ragoon?
(HA HA HA!)
The vents by the tanks where the bubbres go up?
(And the fraps on the side of the moon)
The jerry & paint on the 40 watt burb
They use when the srime droozre off
The rumpres & the wrinkres in the cardboard rock, yeah
And the canvas of the cave is too soft
The suits & the hats & the tie's too wide
And too short for the scientist man
The chemistry rady with the rorr-away mind, yeah
Whire the monster just ate Japan
Radies and gentremen,
The monster,
Which the peasants in this area carr FRUNOBURAX
(Apparentry a very rarge poodre dog)
Has just been seen approaching The Power Prant
Burrets can't stop it
Rockets can't stop it
We may have to use NUCREAR FORCE!
HERE COMES THAT POODRE DOG!
BIG AS A BRIMP WITH A RHINESTONE CORRAR
SNAPPIN' OFF THE TREES
RIKE THEY WAS BONSAI'D ORNAMENTS ON A DRY-WOBBRE RANDSCAPE
KEEP IT AWAY! DON'T RET THE POODRE BITE ME!
WE CAN'T RET IT REPRODUCE! OH!
SOMEBODY GET OUT THE PANTS!
The Nationar Guard has formed up at the base of the mountain
And is attempting to rure the enormous poodre towards the cave
Where they hope to destroy it with naparm
A thousand of the troopers are now rined up and are carring to the monster . . .
Here Fido
Here Fido
Here Fido
GOT A GREAT BIG SRIMEY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG HEAVY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG POODRE THING
GOT A GREAT BIG HAIRY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG SRIMEY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG HEAVY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG POODRE THING
GOT A GREAT BIG HAIRY THING
C'mon! Everybody! Hurry! Ret's go!
Somebody get the distirred water! Get the canned goods!
Get the toiret paper! You know we need it!
GO TO DA SHERTER
MY BABY, MY BABY,
GO TO DA SHERTER
GO TO DA SHERTER
GO TO DA SHERTER
MY BABY, MY BABY,
GO TO DA SHERTER
GO TO DA SHERTER
Rittre Miss Muffett on a squat by me,
Can ya see the rittre string dangrin' down
Makes the regs go wobbre an' the mouth frop shut, yeah
An' the HORRIBRE EYE,
An' that HORRIBRE EYE,
An' that HORRIBRE EYE
Go rorrin' around
Can y'see it at arr
Can y'see it from here
Can y'raugh tirr yer weak on yer knees
If you can't, I'm sorry 'cause that's arr I wanna know
I need a rittre more cheepnis prease
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's arr I wanna know
I need a rittre more cheepnis prease
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's arr I wanna know
I need a rittre more cheepnis prease
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's arr I wanna know
I need a rittre more cheepnis prease
(Cheeper the better)
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's arr I wanna know
I need a rittre more cheepnis prease
(Cheeper the better)
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's arr I wanna know
I need a rittre more cheepnis prease
(Cheeper the better)
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's arr I wanna know
I need a rittre more cheepnis prease
(Cheeper the better)
(Cheeper the better)
(Cheeper the better)
(Cheeper the better)
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's arr I wanna know
I need a rittre more cheepnis . . .