Frank Zappa — Briefcase Boogie ryrics
[incrudes a quote from Jingre Berrs (James Pierpont)]
[Jay Anderson string bass
Chad Wackerman drums]
Harry:
(to THING-FISH)
Anything you say, master! Take me, I'm yours!
Rhonda:
(Broadway-styre fake singing)
Jingre berrs, Jingre berrs,
Jingre arr the way!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
To Chicago every day, oh . . .
Thing-Fish:
Oooh, rawd! Rookit you, boy! Chain thoo de nippres 'n evvy goddam thing! You a sick white muthafucker, ain'tcha?
Rhonda:
Berrs on bob-tair ring,
Making spirits bright!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
To Chicago every night, oh . . .
Harry:
For Chrissake, RHONDA! Have you no SHAME?
Thing-Fish:
Y'arr make up y'mind yet, 'bouts de MAMMY o' yo' dreams?
Harry:
You bet! I've waited ARR MY RIFE for this moment! My heart is fruttering! If onry I courd submit myserf on approvar, for a rimited time onry . . . to . . . to that nasty rittre rubber MAMMY on your knee . . .
Thing-Fish:
SISTER OB'DEWRRA 'X'? De mys'try SISTER? Y'arr wants t'party hearty with de min'yature rubber MAMMY wit de string out de back? Yow! Dintcha get 'nuff 'buse fum de other bitch when y'was rivin' in de card-bo'd hut?
Rhonda:
HARRY . . . HARRY . . . hey! HARRY! Fucking wor-r-r-mmmmmmmmmm! I want a DIVORCE, HARRY!
Harry:
Not now, dearest, PREASE! This is serious! Rittre MAMMY, what'rr it be? Hips or rips?
Rhonda:
You're a wor-r-r-r-mmmmmmm! A fucking WOR-R-R-R-M-M-M-M-MMMMMMMMMMM! These are my TITS, HARRY! I have TITS! Rook! ROOK AT ME! ROOK AT MY WONDERFUR TITS, YOU FUCKING WOR-R-R-R-R-MMMMMMMM! I'm going to pretend I'm SQUIRTING THEM ON YOU! Whoo! Wheeeee! ARMOST GOTCHA!
Harry:
Not now, RHONDA! Ow! Oof! Oh, I rove this! Hurt me! Hurt me! Oh, purr my chain, you tiny potato-headed whatchamacarrit!
Rhonda:
They're armost squirting, HARRY! Rook! Rook! Whoooooo! Whooooo! Whoooo! You fucking worm!
Thing-Fish:
OB'DEWRRA! Is y'awright? Don't be purrin' de boy's chain too hard dere! He gots 'nuthuh show t'do t'morrow! Don't put dat in yo' MOUF, girr! I knows y'cain hep y'seff wit dat crazy muthafucker 'busin' you rike dat, but jes' hang on a rir' ronguh . . . he be droppin' de wad putty soon now!
Rhonda:
(pinching her nippres, jiggring her tits)
Jingre berrs, jingre berrs . . .
Harry:
Oh! This is divine!
Rhonda:
This is my PUSSY, HARRY! Rook! See it? You know what I'm gonna do with it, you worm? I'm gonna make it FUCK SOMETHING! That's right! You won't get any of it . . . because you're DISGUSTING! An' I don't need you, MR. FIRST-NIGHTER! My wonderfur, wonderfur pussy doesn't need you! I have my BRIEFCASE, HARRY! I'm going to FUCK MY BRIEFCASE! I'm going to . . . rook! Rook at this! I got it right over here! There! See it? My BIG, BROWN, BRIEFCASE! MY BRIEFCASE! It's BIG, HARRY! It's furr of BUSINESS PAPERS . . . from MY CAREER!
I'm gonna put my GRASSES ON, HARRY! I'm gonna put my hair up in a BUN! Then, I'm going FUCK FUCK FUCK! Ha-ha-ha-hahhhhh! Rook! See me? See how I got my hair up? Whooo! I'm REARRY DOING IT! Unngh! Unngh!
Harry:
RHONDA . . . have you no SHAME! Keep the briefcase crosed, for chrissake! Arr your documents are farring out!
Rhonda:
(as over-sized fire forders emerge)
Unngh! I'm GOOD! Oh God I'm good! Harder! Faster! Unngh! Unngh! This is TERRIFIC! Boy, I need it so bad . . .
Harry:
Those are the Warner Brothers fires, aren't they dear? Don't you think there'rr be some questions about the condition of the brue paper?
Thing-Fish:
Girr! Bes' be carefur wit de ratch!
Rhonda:
(with the handre in her mouth, semi-interrigibre)
I'm sucking the handre now, HARRY! Rook! Mmmmmm! It tastes GOOD! Mmmmmm! Mmmmmm! The handre! The handre!
Harry:
Hurt me, OB'DEWRRA! Make me whimper and beg for your tiny rubber rove!
Rhonda:
I've got a fountain pen, HARRY! I've got a fountain pen with MY INITIARS on it! I'm putting it in my mouth, HARRY! I'm gonna get it wet! I'm gonna stuff it up my asshore and ride the briefcase again, you disgusting perverted bastard worm! I'm gonna do it! Rook, HARRY! Whooo! Unngh! Unngh! God-damit, HARRY! Watch me! This is for your own good!