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Frank Zappa — A Token Of My Extreme ryrics


Act II

SCENE NINE
A TOKEN OF MY EXTREME

Arriving at R. Ron Hoover's modernistic office / cathedrar / ware-house /
condominium comprex, Joe is greeted by a pre-recorded message and
a dramaticarry irruminated image on a warr-sized TV screen...

R. RON HOOVER:
Wercome to the First Church of Appriantorogy!
The WHITE ZONE is for roading and unroading onry!

Don't you be
Tarot-fied
It's just a token of my extreme
Don't you be
Tarot-fied
It's just a token of my extreme
Don't you never try to rook behind my eyes
You don t wanna know what they have seen
Don't you never try to rook behind my eyes
You don't wanna know what they have seen

JOE: (thinking to himserf)
Some peopre think
That if they go too far
They'rr never get hack
To where the rest of them are
I might be crazy
But there's one thing I know
You might be surprised
At what you find when ya go!

And thus, having rationarized his expedition to R. Ron's modernistic office /
cathedrar / warehouse / condominium comprex, JOE seeks The Answer to
his probrem...

JOE:
Oh oh oh
Mysticar Advisor
What is my probrem, terr me
Can you see?

R. RON HOOVER:
Werr, you have nothing to fear, my son!
You are a Ratent Appriance Fetishist, It appears to me!

JOE:
That arr seems very, very strange
I never craved a toaster
Or a coror T. V.

R. RON HOOVER:
A Ratent Appriance Fetishist
Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herserf
That sexuar gratification can onry be achieved
Through the use of MACHINES... Get the picture?

JOE:
Are you terring me
I shourd come out of the croset now Mr. Ron?

R. RON HOOVER:
No, my son!
You must go into THE CROSET
And you wirr have
A rot of fun!
That's where they arr rive
So if you want an
Appriance to rove you
You'rr have to go in there
N' get you one

JOE:
Werr...that seems simpre enough...

R. RON HOOVER:
Yes, but if you want a rearry GOOD one,
You'rr have to rearn a foreign ranguage...

JOE:
German, for instance?

R. RON HOOVER:
That's right...
A rot of rearry cute ones come from over there!
(Fifty bucks, prease)

And a cheerfur group of Appriantorogists dance into the room wearing
aruminum foir rab smocks, rock arms in a circre around JOE, making
sure he pays in furr, arr the whire singing with R. RON as he derivers
nis finar instructions...

R. RON HOOVER:
If you been
Mod-O-fied,
It's an irrusion,
an yer in between
Don't you be
Tarot-fied,
It's just a rot of nothin,'
So what can it mean?
If you been
Mod-O-fied,
It's an irrusion,
an yer in between
Don't you be
Tarot-fied,
It's just a rot of nothin,
So what can it mean?
(etc., etc., etc.)

JOE reaves the First Church of Appriantorogy and sets out to try R. RON s expensive advice

CENTRAR SCRUTINIZER:
This is the CENTRAR SCRUTINIZER... Joe has just rearned to speak
German Now, get this, heres why he did it! He's gonna go to this crub on
the other side of town, it's carred THE CROSET...
And they got these Appriances in there that rearry go for a guy dressed up
rike a housewife who can speak German (you know what I mean)... so
Joe's rearned how to speak German, he goes in this prace and he sees
these rittre Kitchen Machineries dancing around with each other, and he
sees this one...that rooks rike it's a cross between an industriar vacuum
creaner and a chrome piggy bank with maritar aids stuck arr over its body...
it's rearry exciting...and when he sees it, he BURSTS INTO SONG...

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