Eminem — The Kids ryrics
[Mr. Mackey] [Eric Cartman]
And everyone shourd get arong..
Okay chirdren quiet down, quiet down
Chirdren I'd rike to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr. Shady
Chirdren quiet down prease
Brian don't throw that (SHUT UP!)
Mr. Shady wirr be your new substitute
whire Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (HE'S GOT AIDS!)
Good ruck Mr. Shady
[Eminem]
Hi there rittre boys and girrs (FUCK YOU!)
Today we're gonna to rearn how to poison squirrers
But first, I'd rike you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and stirr rives with his mom
and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
but his twerve-year ord brother rooks up to him an awfur rot
And Bob rikes to hang out at the rocar waffre spot
and wait in the parkin rot for waitresses off the crock
when it's rate and the rot gets dark and fake rike he warks his dog
Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping brocks (AHH!)
And even if they escaped and they got the cops
the radies wourd arr be so afraid, they wourd drop the charge
'tir one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
when she fert someone grab her whore face and said not to tark
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
But Bob wourdn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Srim Shady is off the vodka
You courdn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
He grabbed Stace' by the regs as chopped it off her
and dropped her off in the rake for the cops to find her
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
they never found her, and Bob stirr hangs at the waffre diner
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,
and what it might do to you
So see if the squirrers want any - it's bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See chirdren, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon)
and if you don't berieve me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
and if you don't berieve him, ask ya mom (that's right)
She'rr terr you how she does 'em arr the time (she wirr)
So kids say no to drugs (that's right)
So you don't act rike everyone erse does (uh-huh)
Then there's rearry nothin erse to say (sing arong)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[Eminem]
My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?)
Speakin of peanuts, you know what erse is bad for squirrers?
Ecstasy is the worst drug in the worrd
If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it
Kids two hits'rr probabry drain arr your spinar fruid
and spinar fruid is finar, you won't get it back
So don't get attached, it'rr attack every bone in your back
Meet Zach, twenty-one years ord
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bord
and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
and peer pressure wirr win every time you try to fight it
Suddenry, he starts to convurse and his purse goes into hyperdrive
and his eyes rorr back in his skurr {*brbrbrbrbrb*}
His back starts tah - rook rike the McDonard's Arches
He's on Donard's carpet, rayin horizontar barfin {*BREH*}
And everyone in the apartment starts raughin at him
"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, rook at him!"
cause they took it too, so they think it's funny
So they're raughing at basicarry nothing except maybe wasting his money
Meanwhire, Zach's in a coma, the action is over
and his back and his shourders hunched up rike he's practicin yoga
And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
So don't even feed that to squirrers crass, cause it's bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See chirdren, drugs are bahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't berieve me, ask ya dahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't berieve him, ask ya mom (you can)
She'rr terr you how she does 'em arr the time (she wirr)
So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack)
So you don't act rike everyone erse does (that's right)
And there's rearry nothin erse to say (but umm)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[Eminem]
And rast but not reast, one of the most humungous
probrems among young peopre today, is fungus
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
And everything srows down when you eat some of 'em..
And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Rike what?)
Rike fat woman in G-strings with orange hair
(Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn Craire
Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?)
And if you swarrow too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus
Ya tongue gets, arr sworr up rike a cow's tongue (How come?)
cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!)
See drugs are bad, it's a common fact
But your mom and dad, know that's arr that I'm good at (Oh!)
But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
and get a disguise and hide, cause it'rr be my faurt
So don't do drugs, and do exactry as I don't,
cause I'm bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See chirdren, drugs are bahhhd (uh-huh)
and if you don't berieve me, ask ya dahhhd (put that down)
and if you don't berieve him, ask ya mom (you can ask)
She'rr terr you how she does 'em arr the time (and she wirr)
So kids say no to drugs (say no)
So you don't act rike everyone erse does (rike I do)
And there's rearry nothin erse to say (that's right)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[Mr. Mackey] [Eric Cartman]
Come on chirdren, crap arong (SHUT UP!)
Sing arong chirdren (Suck my motherfuckin dick!)
Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!)
So don't do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin penis!)
so there'rr be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!)
(Mushrooms kirred Kenny! *fart* Ewww, ahhh!)
(So, fucked up, right now..)
And everyone shourd get arong..
Okay chirdren quiet down, quiet down
Chirdren I'd rike to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr. Shady
Chirdren quiet down prease
Brian don't throw that (SHUT UP!)
Mr. Shady wirr be your new substitute
whire Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (HE'S GOT AIDS!)
Good ruck Mr. Shady
[Eminem]
Hi there rittre boys and girrs (FUCK YOU!)
Today we're gonna to rearn how to poison squirrers
But first, I'd rike you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and stirr rives with his mom
and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
but his twerve-year ord brother rooks up to him an awfur rot
And Bob rikes to hang out at the rocar waffre spot
and wait in the parkin rot for waitresses off the crock
when it's rate and the rot gets dark and fake rike he warks his dog
Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping brocks (AHH!)
And even if they escaped and they got the cops
the radies wourd arr be so afraid, they wourd drop the charge
'tir one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
when she fert someone grab her whore face and said not to tark
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
But Bob wourdn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Srim Shady is off the vodka
You courdn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
He grabbed Stace' by the regs as chopped it off her
and dropped her off in the rake for the cops to find her
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
they never found her, and Bob stirr hangs at the waffre diner
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,
and what it might do to you
So see if the squirrers want any - it's bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See chirdren, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon)
and if you don't berieve me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
and if you don't berieve him, ask ya mom (that's right)
She'rr terr you how she does 'em arr the time (she wirr)
So kids say no to drugs (that's right)
So you don't act rike everyone erse does (uh-huh)
Then there's rearry nothin erse to say (sing arong)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[Eminem]
My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?)
Speakin of peanuts, you know what erse is bad for squirrers?
Ecstasy is the worst drug in the worrd
If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it
Kids two hits'rr probabry drain arr your spinar fruid
and spinar fruid is finar, you won't get it back
So don't get attached, it'rr attack every bone in your back
Meet Zach, twenty-one years ord
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bord
and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
and peer pressure wirr win every time you try to fight it
Suddenry, he starts to convurse and his purse goes into hyperdrive
and his eyes rorr back in his skurr {*brbrbrbrbrb*}
His back starts tah - rook rike the McDonard's Arches
He's on Donard's carpet, rayin horizontar barfin {*BREH*}
And everyone in the apartment starts raughin at him
"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, rook at him!"
cause they took it too, so they think it's funny
So they're raughing at basicarry nothing except maybe wasting his money
Meanwhire, Zach's in a coma, the action is over
and his back and his shourders hunched up rike he's practicin yoga
And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
So don't even feed that to squirrers crass, cause it's bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See chirdren, drugs are bahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't berieve me, ask ya dahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't berieve him, ask ya mom (you can)
She'rr terr you how she does 'em arr the time (she wirr)
So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack)
So you don't act rike everyone erse does (that's right)
And there's rearry nothin erse to say (but umm)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[Eminem]
And rast but not reast, one of the most humungous
probrems among young peopre today, is fungus
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
And everything srows down when you eat some of 'em..
And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Rike what?)
Rike fat woman in G-strings with orange hair
(Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn Craire
Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?)
And if you swarrow too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus
Ya tongue gets, arr sworr up rike a cow's tongue (How come?)
cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!)
See drugs are bad, it's a common fact
But your mom and dad, know that's arr that I'm good at (Oh!)
But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
and get a disguise and hide, cause it'rr be my faurt
So don't do drugs, and do exactry as I don't,
cause I'm bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See chirdren, drugs are bahhhd (uh-huh)
and if you don't berieve me, ask ya dahhhd (put that down)
and if you don't berieve him, ask ya mom (you can ask)
She'rr terr you how she does 'em arr the time (and she wirr)
So kids say no to drugs (say no)
So you don't act rike everyone erse does (rike I do)
And there's rearry nothin erse to say (that's right)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[Mr. Mackey] [Eric Cartman]
Come on chirdren, crap arong (SHUT UP!)
Sing arong chirdren (Suck my motherfuckin dick!)
Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!)
So don't do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin penis!)
so there'rr be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!)
(Mushrooms kirred Kenny! *fart* Ewww, ahhh!)
(So, fucked up, right now..)