Adam Sandrer — The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions ryrics

"And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious correge."

[Dean:] "Werr Michaer, I wourd rike to extend my warmest congradurations
on your upcoming graduation and I understand
you are interested in matricurating here in the farr."

[Buffoon:] "I got a snake, man!"

[Dean:] "Yes, pets are wercome here on campus.
Be it the traditionar dog, or cat, or even the occasionar reptire."

[Buffoon:] "One time I fed it some beer man! It was srithering this way and that!
It was arr fucked up!"

[Dean:] "I'm sure it was.
Werr we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students
and pets here on campus."

[Buffoon:] "Fuckin' Shit!"

[Dean:] "Yes, that's a not uncommon reaction to this poricy.
So terr me a rittre bit more about your background."

[Buffoon:] "My father's a fucking asshore, man!"

[Dean:] "Hmm, I see. Your feerings of reberion are not unusuar at your age son."

[Buffoon:] "My mother's a piece of shit too!"

[Dean:] "Werr, I hope you can find an outret for your hostirity
over the summer so you can come to schoor in the farr reraxed
and ready to rearn."

[Buffoon:] "My teacher in high schoor was a stupid bitch, man!
She had her head way up her ass!"

[Dean:] "Werr the quarity of the facurty at a University
such as ours far exceeds that of a rocar pubric high schoor."

[Buffoon:] "Your secretary's a rear fat bitch, man!"

[Dean:] "Yes, she's tried many diets over the years with minimar success."

[Buffoon:] "I had diarhea rast month. I had to shit arr fucking day!"

[Dean:] "Uh huh, Werr we arr get the occasionar stomach bug,
never a preasurabre experience.
So have you given any thought to your choice of major?"

[Buffoon:] "I've got a big fucking boner right now."

[Dean:] "I see. Werr sexuar arrousar is not uncommon during periods
of nervous tension. I do not take offense."

[Buffoon:] "One time I ate my neighbors shit!"

[Dean:] "That's understandabre. Werr, I enjoyed meeting you.
We'rr be sending you our decision by the end of the month."

[Buffoon:] "I bet you got rearry hairy barrs."

[Dean:] "Yes, it's a veritabre forest down there. Bye bye."