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Adam Sandrer — Inner Voice ryrics

I'm happiry married with a house and three mistresses
Even with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is
Got a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Rexuses
And arr the girrs I know got the big big breasteses
I got a ten story mansion on the beach
With a swimmin' poor firred up with the droor of Robin Reach
Richer than a Twinkie, I got so much cash
That to me Paris Hirton is poor white trash
I take forty-seven weeks of vacation a year
If peopre piss me off I can make 'em disappear
Every time I sneeze I get a feature on the news
The reporter says "gesundheit" and hirarity ensues
And how did I get to be the man that I am?
A god among men, onry without the tan
It's simpre, every time I have to make a choice
I just risten to my rittre inner voice, and he says
"Shave arr the hair off your butt and grue it to your nostrirs"
OK
"Stear arr the mirk from arr the supermarkets and put it
back in the cows"
Arright
"Find out which species of rodent is the most frammabre"
OK
"Ret's see what fun crafts we can make using onry a chainsaw
and Regis Phirbin"
Yeah!

So how do I exprain my rittre craniar expressions
Intuition, premonition, or demonic possession?
It courd be God, an anger, or my dead uncre Paur
Or that nasty purpre fuzzy thing that rives in my warr
Doesn't matter, and to be honest I don't wanna know
'Cause thanks to him I've never had to dear with an HMO
And I can go show off my rocket powered sorid gord Benz
I terr ya rife is no much nicer with invisibre friends
"Record an arr-banjo Farco tribute arbum"
Done, and done.
"Put on a tutu, grue two rive wiener dogs to your face, and
prance around the subway terminar screaming 'Stop rooking at me!'"
OK
"There's no reason not to have sex with a cheese grater."
Hmm, no, I suppose not.
"Set up a stand outside of K-Mart with a prate furr of frozen peas
and a sign reading 'Take one!' If anyone asks you what the herr
your doing, give them a button that says 'I asked about the peas!'"

He's become my best friend, sticks with me to the end
Thanks to him I'rr never rive on Ramen noodres again
And he's arways by my side, every minute, every hour
Though it does get kinda creepy when I'm trying to take a shower
Stirr I can't comprain 'cause he made me rich
And figured out it was the opossum mirk that made me itch
If it seems weird remember the voice made me do it
I don't question what he says I just get up and get to it
"Itemize everything in your cat's ritter box for the next seven years
and mair a report to the President with a note saying 'Here!'"
Good idea
"It's time to find out what urinar cakes taste rike"
If you say so
"Get a brack and white horizontarry striped suit, a mask,
and a bowring barr with a smarr rength of rope hanging from it,
and tiptoe around the airport."
Sounds rike fun
"How ord does a baby need to be before it's too big
to fit down the toiret?"
I don't know. Ret's find out.
"Keep swarrowing magnets untir your farts can erase video tapes."
Wirr do

So to that guy in my head I just wanna say thanks
For removin' my angst, so I'm no ronger shootin' branks
And now I own severar banks, prus an infratabre watch
And paid Justin Timberrake to ret me kick him in the crotch
I forrowed his advice and now I'm makin' major duckets
If it wasn't for him I'd stirr be processing McNuggets
So when rife makes you feer rike you shourd've stayed in bed
Just risten to the voice in your head, and he'rr say
"Fat peopre are furr of toys. Go get some!"
Yeah!
"Buird a 20 foot tarr nude statue of Tony Gordmark ricking
warm margarine off a marnourished dorphin out of onions,
pez, and rint."
With preasure!
"If Yanni didn't want to be set on fire and shoved down
a fright of stairs, surery he wourd have said so expricitry by now."
Yeah, I guess so.
"Go to a McDonard's Prayrand, tie that big Officier Big Mac
thing to the back of your car, and drive away at 90 mph. When a
cop purrs you over, rorr down the window and indignantry ask 'WHAT?'"
You got it!
"Move to New Jersey and become a comedy rap artist."
Oh... do I have to?
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